My Hand
by heavens to bikini kill
Summary: A parody of D12's "My Band". I'm bashing everyone under the sun here, so don't get offended. (primary target is Kaiba...) rating for seriously terrible language.


do not tell me this parody doesn't make any sense.  
sense cannot be made, it can only be sensed.  
i do not own yu gi oh, any of its characters, D12, or any of their songs.  
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My Hand (parody to D12's "My Band")  
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[chorus]  
Fan fic writers don't know the cards in my hand  
They write about my deck like every damn fan  
Cuz once I duel they know that I'll be the man  
All because I've got three Blue Eyes in my hand  
[end chorus]  
  
(Kaiba)  
So I lost my God card and feelin' pretty hard  
Shove Honda in the dirt and nearly hit Jou with my car  
"Back off, mutt, my name is Kaiba  
I'm the fuckin' CEO of Kaiba Corp, nigga!"  
He's like, "Go to hell, you whiny fuckin' bitch!  
Come on, Honda, let's beat this little shit!  
Guess you keep forgettin', Yugi took your God,  
So all in all, Kaiba, you can suck my cock!"  
And by now Mokuba's gettin' pretty embarassed  
Especially before I summon Blue Eyes and do my acapellas   
All the fangirls start yellin', all the Jou-lovin' babes  
Throw some chairs at my head and burn up the stage  
So like every single night I wanna chop up Yami   
I suppose you could call it anime rivalry  
But they're back on TV shoutin' shit at me  
When I'm just trying to steal the fangirls from Yugi  
Yesterday Otogi beat the shit out of me  
Because everyone knows I'm just a little pussy  
This weak-ass shit, it's the life for me  
And all the fangirls just ignore me because....  
  
[chorus]  
  
My hand (x9)  
  
(Noa)  
You just wanna see a little shit like me don't you?  
Hey dad, how come we don't rap in bodies no more?  
Smashing computers, virtual world's now a bust  
But Seto's in a limo, and I'm on the bus  
You don't want my program, yous a liar  
And no, I'm Noa (oh, I thought you was Kaiba)  
And what the hell is wrong with this virtual room?  
Dad programmed it to be smaller than a decimal  
I know how to program, it's simple but  
I learned it all from one of Seto's books  
So I've got no fangirls, tryin' to get on the map  
With Mokuba grinnin' and whippin' my virtual back  
  
(Yami and Yugi)  
Look at Kaiba thinkin' that he's the fuckin' shit  
Yeah, I know Yami, he's such a little whiny bitch  
Hey man, I though we had five more fan fics due  
(Seto: No, I had the fan fics, not you two.)  
You better get back in the soul room  
Man, fuck the soul room!  
I'll beat your ass down to get you in there, you fool  
You know what Yami, I'ma tell Kaiba somethin  
(Seto: You got somethin to say?)  
Man, fuck this!  
You don't need tell him off, yo Kaiba, you punk!  
Man, I'ma beat his ass when I'm ready, shut up!  
You get back in the soul room until I'm through  
Bitch, I'm gonna beat Kaiba's ass, not you!  
  
[chorus]  
  
(Mokuba)  
They say my big brother's hot, but Mokuba's not  
But once I turned 12, my balls began to drop  
I'm gonna let the world know that Mokuba's hot  
I should cut up his Blue Eyes once the duel starts  
I'm ready to snap on a dumb fangirl  
Every time I hear (Seto Kaiba's the WORLD!)  
He's such a pussy, I have to tie his shoes for him  
And why does his coat float without any wind?  
And he thinks he knows every computer code?  
(Seto: Carry my laptop)  
Bitch, carry your own  
Can't make it to the blimp, security everywhere I go  
(Who the fuck are you? And where's Seto?)  
  
(Ryou)  
Fuck a duck, I'm sick of this show  
Time for me to get rid of Bakura, that whore  
I made all the beats, I wrote all the raps  
Till Bakura slipped me some crack  
Duelist Kingdom, I was in the back  
Battle City, I was in the back  
Fuck this website, I got some suggestions  
Fuck Bakura, start writing GOOD fan fictions  
Like no more slash, I'm not gay damn it!  
(What about Bakura?)  
Bitch, are you brain-damaged?  
Anyway, I'm the cutest boy in the show  
Open my chocolate eyes, get some hollas from a ho  
Malik told me to do push ups to get buff  
I did about 20, Bakura wouldn't let me get up  
Fuck Yu Gi Oh, I'm out of this show  
I'm gonna start a boy band with the old LFO...  
  
(Kaiba)  
Fangirls, why can't you see that no one really should like me  
You need to move on to the others, you don't know my hand...  
  
(Malik, with the chorus)  
These fans don't know the true power of my Rod (ha ha)  
But they write fanfics like I'm their fucking GOD (fuck Kaiba)  
Once I control your mind, I'll control you all  
Because you don't know the true power of my Rod  
My Rod (x9)  
  
[outro]  
The hottest anime in the world...  
Yu Gi Oh!  
  
(Bakura, as a salsa singer)  
I'm the hottest yami on the show, I smack fangirls like every damn ho  
And the hottest yami on the show, I smack fangirls like every damn ho  
Hottest yami, look out for my next single, it's called Hottest Yami  
Hottest yami, yami, yami, yami...  
I'm the hottest yami on the show, I smack fangirls like every damn ho  
I'm the hottest yami on the show, I smack fangirls like every damn ho, hottest yami.  
(Where'd all the mortals go?)  
  
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Daaaaaang, that was silly. Really silly. Drop me a review, dawgs. 


End file.
